A Message from Roni

Dear friends of Roni - This is Roni's friend Bob writing to let you know that Roni is missing. We believe he has been abducted by a group of 30 female acro-yogis and Thai massage students. We believe he is being held on their communal farm somewhere upriver from Laung Prapang, Laos. Earlier this evening, we received a video message from Roni's captors (too gruesome to show here) showing Roni lounging amidst 30 beauties sipping a coconut mango shake and talking about Burning Man. He appeared happy, excited even, however we believe he was acting to placate his captors. I will do everything in my power to free Roni, and to keep you posted while this crisis unfolds. I ask for your prayers for Roni. Below is the last message I received from Roni, just minutes ago. Bob

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Hi Bob!

It's Roni. Wow, what a strange day! First I spend an hour on Skype trying to save Next Generation during a crisis. Then I walk the streets of this Lao town and have some lunch. Then I say, I want to cross that river, and I look down, and there is a bamboo bridge across the river.

So, I pay 60 cents (bastards), and cross the bamboo bridge and walk through a tiny little village and through a few Wats and then hear really, really good blues music. Sa bai di? Yes? Hello. Hello! Come on in. I walk into an old French Colonial house, really bear inside, and come upstairs to join an Aussie and 2 Germans who are listening to the great blues, smoking, drinking a beer and then playing guitar. I am invited to stay and jam.

I leave, cross the bamboo bridge, take a nap, and then walk up a hill to watch the sunset over the Mekong from an old Wat. I then meet Dani Cooperman, the sister of a guy I met in Costa Rica 2 months ago. He hooked us up, I called her, and tonight, we met. Funny thing is, I thought I was meeting his (ex?) wife, who is also named Dani, but is not his ex. Oops! Nope, I was meeting his little (30 year old) sister, who is very sweet and says, "Hey, wanna join me and my 40 massage course buddies at a restaurant/lounge called 'Utopia'?" "Well, OK, twist my arm why don't ya.'" I arrive and this place is indeed my version of utopia. It is a beautiful property, tastefully landscaped with tropical plants and stones. It features large bamboo decks with pillows and low tables. As soon as I walk in, I notice the lit beach volleyball court. LOL! I LOVE beach volleyball. I drop into this clan of 40 acro-yogi circus performer thai massage therapists. Yo Bob, I don't know how this all lands with you, but I'm guessing one third my friends back home have no idea what I mean, and the other third are split three ways between:
* Gross!
* Nice!
* and, Ooh, I wanna sign up for the course!
In any case I chat a bit, order a mango coconut shake, and then go play beach volleyball. Woo hoo! I return to the table and strike up a conversation with a gorgeous (yay) Texan (yikes) who was also a Burning Man Virgin this year (yay). I also meet other very sweet people as we lounge and sip fruit juices and eat Lao food on our pillows on the bamboo platform overlooking the river on a particularly beautiful evening. I am invited to visit the compound. And I will. I'm not sure what this has to do with my Hero's Journey through Asia. It's not like Odysseus faced any beautiful women along the way he had to resist in order to stay true to his - wait a minute. Sirens. The island of Lesbos. Oh shit - - - - -

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Hello friends of Roni. This is Bob again. This is where Roni's last communication cut off. Before he sent this he told me to tell his mom not to worry. He also added that he really misses hamburgers and his friends and Redwood forests and pooping normally. I will keep you all posted, and hope to furnish photos soon. Thank you, Bob